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Spider-Man: 20 Most Iconic Quotes Ever, Ranked

Since making his amazing debut, Peter Parker has quickly become one of the most celebrated comic book characters of all time. As Spider-Man, the hero has accomplished all sorts of incredible feats over the years, despite often being seen as a street-level hero.

With a unique sense of humor and incredibly relatable mentality, Spider-Man has both said and done some of the most hysterical and inspiring things over the years, sometimes at the same time. We've collected some of his best phrases over the years to explore some of the most iconic Spider-Man quotes of all time.

RELATED: Spider-Man: Ranking His 10 Strongest Villains

Updated on October 11th, 2021 by Scoot Allan: Spider-Man is known amongst his crime-fighting peers and his diehard fans for a number of memorable traits that include his well-defined sense of responsibility and amazing abilities. However, he has also been known to drop a number of memorable quotes and motivational speeches over the years that have become iconic, so we'll be taking a look at a few more classic and modern sayings from the wall-crawler that fans won't soon forget.

20 "Yes. I'm Batman."

One of Spider-Man's close allies, Cloak, was framed for crimes he didn't commit, which brought the Avengers out looking for the street-level hero. He was being aided by the young team of heroes known as The Runaways, and Spider-Man dropped in on a couple of them to talk.

However, using his trademarked humor he revealed that he was instead one of the Distinguished Competition's most popular heroes in order to help put the Runaways at ease. He then proceeded to buy them a sushi dinner and talk about Cloak instead of automatically starting the usual superhero vs. superhero battles. Good guy Spidey for the win.

19 "Is This The End Of Spider-Man?"

Following a deadly battle with Molten Man that left him exposed to radioactive rocks in Amazing Spider-Man #132, Peter Parker found he was suffering from radiation poisoning and passed out on the ground on his way out of the hospital.

It's not his most glamorous moment, and it's not as poignant as some of his more motivational quotes, but his plaintive thought about his potential fate as Spider-Man has been repeated in the movies and on numerous covers for years, making it one of his most iconic quotes.

18 "I don't want to know, Cap. I need to know."

Spider-Man desperately sought advice from Captain America about what to do on the eve of the superhero Civil War. Cap was branded a fugitive after refusing to sign onto the Superhuman Registration Act, with Iron Man promising to arrest any hero who didn't sign the act.

Peter Parker was an employee of Stark Industries and felt obligated to side with Iron Man, but Spider-Man wanted to hear the wise words of the First Avenger because Peter felt more lost than ever before. This moment also led to the infamous "No, you move" quote from Cap that later appeared in Captain America: Civil War from Sharon Carter.

17 "My name is Peter Parker, and I've been Spider-Man since I was 15 years old."

That brings us to this moment, which actually happened just before that conversation between Spider-Man and Captain America. This is the landmark moment that the Amazing Spider-Man revealed his secret identity to the world with the backing of Iron Man.

RELATED: Marvel: The 15 Rarest Spider-Man Comics (& What They're Worth)

Spider-Man had always been better than most heroes at maintaining his secret identity, so it was a shock when he finally revealed it to the public. Of course, to many people's dismay, he later made a deal with the devil himself, Mephisto, to undo this decision.

16 "Nothing Will Stop Me Now! For I Know At Last That A Man Can't Change His Destiny...And I Was Born To Be Spider-Man!"

After Spider-Man was forced to run from a fight with Green Goblin after hearing about his Aunt May's recent sickness, he was called a coward by the Daily Bugle as well as much of the rest of the city, which weakened his resolve. He was even forced to skip out on a fight with Sandman in order to take care of his sickly aunt, which caused more ridicule and led to his decision to quit being Spider-Man.

However, his Aunt's recovery and her words of wisdom caused a change in Peter that reminded him why he never quits, just like his aunt and uncle taught him. After tearing up another of Jameson's scathing editorials, he switched into his costume and returned to action.

15 "But no matter how hard I try...People...Die!"

"But it's not the same thing! All these years, I've done my best to make up for that! I've worn this suit--gone out there and put my life on the line again and again! But no matter how hard I try... people... die!" Spider-Man always carried more guilt than most heroes over the people he couldn't save. An undead Kraven the Hunter made him confront this guilt in Soul of the Hunter.

He had a bad tendency to blame himself for not being better, faster, stronger, or smarter, even when there was nothing he could feasibly do. On top of that, he had a tendency to see people he deeply cared about die. Even if this isn't one of the more uplifting quotes from Spider-Man, it is one that says a lot about who he is.

14 "We save as many as we can to make up for the ones we couldn't. That's all we do."

"We're not just our failures. As much as they hurt, we learn from them. Then we go out there and do our best to make up for them, even though we never will. We save people. We save as many as we can to make up for the ones we couldn't. That's all we do."

Even if he has a bad tendency to hold onto guilt, Spider-Man has always been very certain about why he puts on the mask and costume, and he's always been quick to try to help the heroes around him find their confidence. This quote actually comes from a team-up with former Captain America Sam Wilson and the Inhumans, when Queen Medusa needed a good old uncle Spidey pep talk.

13 "My fault, all my fault! If only I had stopped him when I could have! But I didn't, and now...Uncle Ben...Is dead."

This isn't a particularly uplifting quote either, but it does come from the tragedy that started it all and gave Spider-Man his whole ethos. In short, innocent people die when good people don't step in to help, and he decided that he would make sure his powers are put to good use.

RELATED: Batman Vs. Spider-Man: Who Wins In A Fight?

He lost his hero and mentor, Uncle Ben, on one fateful night, and Spider-Man would make sure that death meant something by saving others and keeping anyone else from having to deal with the same loss that has driven Peter Parker for years.

12 “I know that look. I had it a lot when I was your age...There's no stopping you. I want you to run because you don't have your armor. But you won't...'Cause you're a hero.”

In one of Spider-Man’s more inspirational quotes, Peter Parker is actually talking with the armored hero Riri Williams, who became Ironheart after Tony Stark’s disappearance. At a particular time where she was starting to have doubts about being a hero, this conversation with Spider-Man proved to be just what she needed to get back on track.

Not only is it a great quote from the webhead in general, but it also reflects his inspiring nature. Likewise, considering Peter himself became Spider-Man at such a young age, it was all the greater to see him connect with some of Marvel’s younger heroes.

11 "Anyone Can Win A Fight When The Odds Are Easy! It's When The Going's Tough, When There Seems To Be No Chance, That's When It Counts!"

Spider-Man is known for his incredible moments of strength that seem to get him out of impossible situations, and one of the most iconic occurred during "The Final Chapter" storyline from Amazing Spider-Man #33. Following a battle with Doctor Octopus, Spider-Man was trapped by heavy machinery as Doc Ock's underwater base flooded around him.

Spider-Man momentarily thought about giving up, but as usual, he called on the lessons he learned from the people in his life to inspire him. He knew that it was the hard times in his life that have made him strong enough to overcome any challenge, and he was able to lift tons of equipment in order to free himself and escape.

10 “When I think of Spider-Man? I think, no matter what…He’s never going to stop helping people.”

Chip Zdarsky’s very last issue of Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man told of a documentary filmmaker who was going around asking people their opinion on Spider-Man. The entirety of the single-issue story is a wonderful emotional roller coaster and happens to end with Peter himself being stopped.

When asked about his thoughts on Spider-Man, Peter obviously has a very complicated answer and much more to say than just the quote from above. However, the last sentence of the issue alone is still an incredible way to sum up Spider-Man as an overall character, while also offering insight as to just how motivated Peter himself really is.

9 “No One Can Win Every Battle, But No Man Should Fall Without A Struggle.”

Many other comic characters fail to withstand the test of time the same way that Spider-Man does. However, even in earlier issues, the hero has held on to the same sense of hope and determination that made him so popular in the first place.

RELATED: Spider-Man: 5 Green Goblin Costumes That We Love (& 5 That We Don't)

As the hero fights against the tricks of Mysterio in the pages of The Amazing Spider-Man, things begin to look bleak for him. Fortunately, Spider-Man’s spirits aren’t easily broken, leading to this great and inspiring quote that not only helped him win the day but inspired readers for generations to come.

8 “Uncle Ben. I couldn’t save him…No matter what I did. But I saved you. I did it. I did…”

One of the saddest Spider-Man stories to date is undoubtedly Peter Parker's death in the Ultimate universe. As the Sinister Six close in on his house, a wounded Peter and some of his closest allies can’t help but struggle against the horde of villains.

Though Peter is actually victorious in the end, the fight took literally everything he had. As he lay dying, he begins to explain to his Aunt May that he is actually content, as he was able to save his loved ones, whereas he couldn’t save Uncle Ben. In a very tearful manner, readers are once again reminded of what motivates Peter most, as well as his impeccable drive to help others.

7 “Ah, man, when Wolverine grows his face back, he's really gonna be pretty upset.”

As one of the funnier lines from the wall-crawler, the above line comes from Brian Michael Bendis’ time on New Avengers. Following a serious injury that Wolverine was sure to recover from, Spider-Man wittingly offers his average commentary as he does with almost any other situation.

Though it is not always the most appropriate time for certain things to be said, that is also part of what people love about him. His great quips and awkward one-liners give Peter a certain charm that few other characters manage to capture, making this quote one of the perfect examples of how his personality comes out in battle.

6 “Except the dignity of knowing I never carried a man-purse.”

Superior Spider-Man was a series that saw Doctor Octopus literally take over the body of Peter Parker, establishing the villain as one of Marvel’s biggest heroes. Of course, with comics being comics, this didn’t last terribly long, with Otto restoring Peter’s mind after realizing only he could take down Norman Osborn.

In one of the best moments from the series, Norman taunts Spider-Man, believing him to still be Doc Ock. Upon hearing this single line, however, Norman immediately realizes that Peter is back in his own body. Out of context, it doesn’t seem like much, but when actually read as part of the story, it is easily one of the most epic Spider-Man moments yet.

5 "I Swear To You...From Now On...Whenever I'm Around, Wherever I Am...No One Dies."

Peter Parker's entire career as Spider-Man has been filled with an ongoing cycle of loss and tragedy that continues to drive him to keep putting on the webs even when he feels like quitting. He encountered nearly everyone he had lost or failed to help over the years in a fevered dream during Amazing Spider-Man #655.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Spider-Man TAS Is The Best Comics Cartoon (& 5 Why It's Batman TAS)

This dream took place after the death of his long-time friend Marla Jameson, wife of J. Jonah Jameson. Spider-Man awoke with a new mission that kept him going for another few years that held him to a higher standard than ever before. "Whenever I'm around, wherever I am...no one dies."

4 “You killed the woman I love, and for that, you're going to die.”

Following the death of Gwen Stacy, Peter was understandably at one of his most angry points in history. Though it is possible that Peter himself played the bigger hand in her death, there’s no denying that the Green Goblin still had a major role in the event.

Despite being one of the character's darkest moments, the above quote is insanely iconic and recognizable, as it is the last thing in the issue that Peter says after Gwen is confirmed dead. Especially when accompanied by the iconic image of Peter holding Gwen’s lifeless body, this is easily one of the most iconic Spider-Man sayings to date.

3 “Typical Parker Luck”

For years, the “Parker Luck” has seemed to plague Peter and those closest to him. No matter how much he may plan ahead, or try to avoid a certain problem, something seems to always arise that drastically differs from Peter’s desires.

Fortunately, the Parker Luck has also gotten Peter out of some very sticky situations over the years. However often it may seem to harm him, it is definitely possible to argue that the Parker Luck has done more good than bad. While it may not be one of the longest sayings from Spider-Man and his supporting cast, it is certainly one of the more common phrases from the character.

2 “Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man”

For all the things that Spider-Man has been called over the years, yourfriendly neighborhood Spider-Man is definitely one of the most common. Furthermore, Peter himself isn’t the only one to use the phrase, but his supporting cast and other small characters as well.

Granted, the phrase is typically accompanied by something else either before or after it, but it is still a very iconic saying from the comics. Likewise, it also reinforces the idea of Spider-Man as an “everyman” sort of hero, who is often grounded in the real world and just tries to help people with day-to-day activities.

1 “With Great Power, There Must Also Come...Great Responsibility”

Obviously, the most iconic (and frequently misquoted) quote from Spider-Man ever is, “With great power, there must also come great responsibility.” Not only was this one of the first things Peter learned on his journey to becoming a hero, but it continues to define and motivate him and his allies like Miles Morales to this day.

Thankfully, this is something that virtually every alternate version of Spider-Man understands as well, making it just as important to the character overall, even aside from the main Peter Parker. Considering his accomplishments that have been brought about from this lesson alone, it is easy to understand why this is the most iconic Spider-Man quote.

NEXT: 10 Confusing Aspects Of Your Favorite Hero's Power

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J. Richland Anderson (298 Articles Published)

J. enjoys reading and writing comic books during his free time and truly has a passion for superheroes. As someone who considers himself to be incredibly nerdy, J. enjoys DC, Marvel and independent titles equally. His favorite characters are Batman, Swamp Thing, Blue Beetle, Spider-Man, and the X-Men.

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Marvel: The 10 Funniest Spider-Man Quotes From The Comics

Over the decades, the quality of humor present in Spider-Man comics has varied from writer to writer. Most of what Stan Lee focused on was the drama in Peter Parker's life. Other writers came to use the witty banter from the web-slinger to break up the tension and to add humor to otherwise serious stories. Some did this better than others but over time, Spider-Man became known for his wit.

RELATED: 10 Most Iconic One-Liners From Marvel Superheroes

From tension breaking moments to perfect one-liners and witty quips, these humorous Spider-Man quotes stick out in the minds of readers and will not be soon forgotten.

10  "Are We On A Date?" Breaks The Tension During a Stake-out

In New Avengers #61 by Brian Michael Bendis and Stuart Immonen, Spider-Man and Spider-Woman are on a stake-out of Avengers Tower, watching for some sign that will give a clue to Norman Osborn's plans. During this, the discussion grows a bit serious as Spidey explains Osborn's penchant for instability.

This sparks Spider-Woman to use her SWORD-issued alien detector to see if Spider-Man is an alien. When noticed she admits that Spider-Man's either an alien or as she puts it, "The coolest guy I've ever met." This adds a little more tension to the scene with Spidey breaks with "Are we on a date?" It instantly breaks the tension and allows for the two heroes to discuss things in a less tense environment.

9 "Can I Throw Up Without A Stomach?" "You Think You've Got Problems, Shulkie? I'm Wearing A Full Facemask Here." Showed The Dilemma Spidey Often Faces

In Sensational She-Hulk #3 by John Byrne, Spider-Man finds himself coming to the rescue of She-Hulk's running afoul of the Headsmen. The Headsmen are evil scientists out to put their comrade Chondu's head on She-Hulk's super-strong body. Spidey quickly falls victim to She-Hulk's headless body controlled by the villains.

RELATED: She-Hulk Breaks Reality & The 9 Quirkiest Modes Of Transportation In Comics

When he awakes, Chondu has gone berserk upon realizing that his comrades have turned him into a woman. Spidey punches him, knocking his head off of She-Hulk's body. She-Hulk comments how gross that looked and wonders if she can throw up without a stomach. Spidey remarks that his problem is keeping from throwing up in a full face mask.

8 "I'm Batman," Actually appeared in A Marvel Comic

In Runaways #11 by Matthew Vaughn and Adrian Alphona, the kids are helping Cloak and Dagger in New York City. Alex Ultron and Gert meet Spider-Man in an alley. Surprised and awe-struck, Gert fumbles Spidey's name. Spidey introduces himself in a humorous, "I'm Batman." Readers couldn't be faulted for thinking that Spidey uses a gravelly voice to deliver the line.

Of course, this does provide interesting anachronisms in the Marvel Universe. While the line is one of the more iconic moments from a 1989 film, it features a hero from another company. It's been established that Marvel Comics exists chronicling the adventures of real-life superheroes. What are Batman comics like in a world where superheroes actually exist? Do people believe Batman is as real as Spider-Man?

7 "Your Concern For My Welfare Touches Me Deeply!" Is An Early Bit Of Humor From Stan Lee

Amazing Spider-Man #8 by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko featured a backup story where Spider-Man bedeviled the Human Torch, out to make his perfect life a little rougher. This was when the two heroes were more young rivals than the close friends that they grew into. This altercation gets quickly out of hand and brings in the Torch's teammates in the Fantastic Four.

RELATED: Marvel: 10 Things Everyone Forgets About Johnny Storm, The Human Torch

Spidey extends his donnybrook to the rest of the team, and the Thing gets involved. When he tells the webhead that he hopes his insurance is paid up Spidey comes off with the best comeback. "Your concern for my welfare touches me deeply, handsome!" is a case where Stan Lee's writing focused on Spider-Man's humorous side rather than his pathos.

6 "...Except The Dignity Of Knowing I Never Carried A Man Purse." Announced His Return To The Living

After Doctor Octopus took over Spider-Man's body, the personality of Spider-Man changed. Over the course of the many months that Doc Ock was in charge, the change became noticeable, especially to the Green Goblin. After regaining control, Spidey sets out to confront the Green Goblin.

In Superior Spider-Man #31 by Dan Slott, Christos Gage, and Giuseppe Camuncoli, the Goblin boasts that after Spider-Man saves Anna Maria Marconi, he'll have nothing left. That's when Spidey delivers a digging comeback that he has "The dignity of knowing I never carried a man purse." The Green Goblin knows that the original Spider-Man is back. While there is nothing wrong with someone carrying a purse, the fact that a simple joke was all it took for the Green Goblin to realize that his foe was back was entertaining.

5 "This Is Too Much Like Having A Couple Of Older, Meaner Brothers!" Shows Why Spidey Usually Works Alone

In Fantastic Four #267-269 by Walt Simonson and Art Adams, a Skrull terrorist tricks Spider-Man, Wolverine, the Hulk, and Ghost Rider into thinking that the Fantastic Four have been killed. The four then form the new Fantastic Four and it's in the second issue of the series where Spidey gets his best line.

RELATED: Fantastic Four: 10 Most Underrated Members, Ranked

The four come across a monster attacking a passenger jet and intervene. The Hulk jumps out of the Fantasticar and Spider-Man is relieved that he doesn't have to do the same thing. Wolverine then tells him that he has to help hold the plane together. Cursing, Spidey jumps and compares his teammates to "a couple of older, meaner brothers."

4 "But I Don't Want To Cure Cancer. I Want To Turn People Into Dinosaurs." Has Spidey Share The Humor With Sauron

Not all funny quotes come from Spider-Man. Villains sometimes get their turn to be hilarious, even if it is unintentional in the context of the story. In Spider-Man and the X-Men #2, by Elliott Kalan and Marco Failla and the web-slinger takes the students of the Jean Grey School on a field trip that goes awry. Sauron and Stegron attack with a plan to turn everyone into dinosaurs.

Spider-Man is the one to bring the logic to the fight, pointing out how much could be done with the villain's technology. Of course, the humor is spread to everyone throughout the series, even the villains. This quote has even gone on to become a meme due to its over-the-top ridiculousness.

3 " Rooftop Guard's First Appearance Is... Probably Sold Out Since They Announced Rooftop Guard As Part Of Marvel's Phase Nine Line-Up Of Movies!"

In Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #4 by Chip Zdarsky and Adam Kubert, Spider-Man and his friends fight the Tinkerer. Knocked through the roof, Spidey, a bit loopy, checks on the Rooftop guard that he webbed up in the previous issue. Writer Chip Zdarsky then injects a caption to poke fun at how the MCU affects the secondary market.

With the 1990s in the distant past to most readers, the role speculators played in nearly destroying the industry isn't common knowledge. The rise in demand for back issues matches the announcements for new characters in the movies. It's a nice little touch from a writer known for his snarky sense of humor.

2 "When Wolverine's Face Grows Back, He's Really Gonna Be Pretty Upset." Injects Humor Into An Action Scene

New Avengers #7 by Brian Michael Bendis and Steve McNiven sees the New Avengers face off against the Wrecker. Wolverine is the first to taste the Wrecker's crowbar, and Spider-Man is there to provide the perfect snappy play-by-play. It's another case of Brian Michael Bendis injecting humor with Spider-Man's dialogue.

Bendis used Spider-Man to inject humor into his Avengers stories. His presence never seemed out of place at all. A list could probably be done on Bendis's best Spider-Man lines alone.

1 "My Pants Are Stuck To My Butt..." Is Humiliation At Its Funniest

In 2014's Amazing Spider-Man #2 by Dan Slott and Humberto Ramos, Spider-Man is called to explain his actions to the Avengers. He explains the mind-swap with Doctor Octopus, but the Avengers are concerned about why he showed up in pants.

Spider-Man explains that in a fight, his clothes were shredded and he webbed up some underwear. Unfortunately, Doc Ock made the webbing last longer, so now his web underwear is stuck to his pants. Even worse, he has to pee.

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Jerry Stanford is a lifelong fan of comics with a BFA in Sequential Art. He brings a knowledge base of comics history, technique, and aesthetics to his articles. After self-publishing for a time, he started to share his love for comics on the Internet before coming to CBR. He's especially a fan of the Legion of Super-Heroes but admires any quality comic.

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When Spider-Man first swung onto the comic book scene in 1962, he stood out not only because of his everyman sensibilities, and oddly piebald hair, but also because of his lightning fast sense of humor. We, the modern comic book audience, expect our super heroes to have a razor sharp wit, and a back pocket full of jokes to be had at their antagonist’s expense, but all of that started with your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Think about it, if Spider-Man had never parkoured into our lives (or if he’d been a more reserved hero) Marvel movies wouldn’t be half as fun as they are, and we’d be stuck with summer blockbusters revolving around more grunts than puns. Put on your Spider-Man pajamas, hang upside down, and celebrate everyone’s favorite web head with our list of his best comebacks, jokes, and one-liners.

Spider-Man has been through an abundance of changes in the last six decades. He’s been a college student, a clone, he sold his soul, and he was Doc Ock for a little while. But throughout his myriad character beats, and lifestyle choices, he’s always been funny – maybe that’s why we identify with him so much. He’s never been the toughest hero, or the character with the coolest powers, but he’s always been the funniest, and that’s why we love him.

Vote up your favorite Spider-Man one liners and mid fight jokes, and if we left off your favorite web slinging one-liner then tell us about it in the comments.
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Spider-Man PS4 Funny Jokes , Lines \u0026 Quotes #1

Spider-Man's 10 Funniest Quips On Screen

The beloved friendly neighborhood superhero is well renowned for his humor, a staple of his charming youth. It makes a more relatable and innocent approach to the job. Particularly in cinema, where countless heroes confront deep burdens with grave seriousness. Comedy is innately subjective, and perhaps not every Spider-Man film was ubiquitously accepted.

RELATED: Every Version Of Spider-Man Ranked From Weakest To Most Powerful

But the essence of the character has generally remained true on-screen, across numerous performances. He can be self-aware about heroics, and goofs around with his criminals, presenting endless fun on-screen since famed director Sam Raimi first envisioned the iconic web-slinger.

10 Spider-Man 3: “Where Do All These Guys Come From?”

There isn’t much left to say about the troubled closing chapter of Sam Raimi’s influential trilogy. There is a distinct aftertaste of studio interference, and many of its lesser decisions are generally rooted in the symbiote.

Unfortunately, this leaves some of the genuinely enjoyable moments overwhelmed. After battling the Sandman, Spider-Man sits on the edge of a rooftop and questions where his constant villains come from. It’s a fun, self-aware nod to his strange and extensive rogues gallery.

9 Spider-Man: “Hey Kiddo, Let Mom And Dad Talk”

The first installment of Sam Raimi’s original vision holds up surprisingly well, and not only thanks to nostalgia. Some fans have pointed out how this incarnation of Spider-Man wasn’t especially quippy.

In retrospect, Raimi's trilogy was endlessly quotable. This one-liner really fits the character, and the scene is truly bolstered by J.K. Simmons’ performance. The man is simply a perfect interpretation of Jameson. As Spider-Man attempts to rescue Jameson from the Green Goblin, he webs his boss’ mouth shut. Even better, circumstances instantly play out against expectations.

8 Spider-Man: Homecoming: “...Hulk Gives It Away”

The MCU’s triumphant first solo film with Spider-Man is meticulously detailed, and really prioritizes comedy. The jokes aren’t reserved for Spider-Man alone, but rather the entire cast. They are more kid-friendly than juvenile, where the sequel leaned into the latter, dividing fans between which film is superior. But the humor is consistently witty, even with more copious pop culture references.

RELATED: 10 Spider-Man Quirks Tom Holland Captures Perfectly

Here, Spider-Man battles a group of thieves that are wearing masks of the Avengers. It’s an obvious setup, but a terrific idea. Spider-Man mentions that the criminals don’t resemble the real Avengers and that the Hulk impersonator really gives it away.

7 Avengers: Infinity War: “Oh, You’re Using Your Made-Up Names”

This quip actually works on multiple levels. Mostly, it points out just how odd Stephen Strange’s actual last name is. It genuinely sounds like an alter ego, and pretty much anyone would assume the same as Peter.

It’s truly the perfect greeting between these two characters, as Peter has always been allowed to reference how bizarre his surroundings can be. And nothing is more outlandish than the outright wizardry of Doctor Strange. The prompt greeting is also an indication of how endearingly trusting and awkward Peter is.

6 The Amazing Spider-Man: “My Weakness, It's Small Knives”

A deeply underrated film and performance, where the quirky romance was unexpectedly endearing. Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man had all the right quips, and welcomed greater stakes, although its darker tone didn’t please everyone.

When Spider-Man confronts a car thief in the night, he takes great delight in mocking them. After all, they might be Uncle Ben’s killer, and he isn’t very bright. He asks if Spider-Man is a cop, and Peter quips about his colorful outfit. Next, the man brandishes a small knife. But Spider-Man simply pleads for mercy with biting sarcasm, mocking the knife’s size.

5 Avengers: Infinity War: “Please Don’t Put Your Eggs In Me!”

Exposing Peter Parker to space aliens could only result in one possible outcome. While everyone else seems perfectly open to the experience, Peter is a young everyman. The brief misunderstanding with the Guardians of the Galaxy is already fun.

RELATED: MCU: 10 Hilarious Memes Of Tom Holland As Spider-Man

But Mantis is clearly a terrifying being with antennae, and Spider-Man can’t help but fear her, as most probably would at first sight. However, it’s additionally playful that the joke is actually a callback to Spider-Man’s previous reference to Aliens, begging Mantis to refrain from Facehugger behavior.

4 Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse: “It’s A Terrible Moment”

A new high-bar for superhero films, this story takes all the risks that the MCU hasn’t quite welcomed. The film boasts surprisingly emotional depth and approaches the Spider-Man character with a number of fascinating and forthright conversations.

The diversity and power in Miles Morales is also a great relief on screen. Breaking into an office, Peter Parker and Miles become stuck when the latter is literally stuck to the ceiling. Peter tries to convince Miles to “be in the moment”, to which Miles replies that he certainly is. Miles has to sing to break free, and Peter complains about teenagers, altogether a fun wink to Spider-Man’s consistent youth.

3 Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse: “The Bread That You Deserve”

In a film with so many incarnations of Spider-Man together, the quips are truthfully all equally brilliant. But this smart twist of context was particularly clever, and Jake Johnson’s sympathetic performance adds a lot. Especially after—spoilers—the loss of Chris Pine’s Spider-Man near the beginning of the movie.

RELATED: All 8 Spider-Man Movies Ranked (Including Far From Home)

It’s sincerely touching that Johnson’s Parker is apologetic to his ex-wife Mary Jane, at a party full of Spider-Man outfits. Disguised as a waiter, Spider-Man confesses his feelings by using Mary Jane’s request for bread as a perfect excuse. It’s both moving and hilariously awkward, as Noir and Spider-Gwen impatiently wait.

2 Spider-Man 2: “It Gets Kinda Itchy…”

Putting Spider-Man in an unusual, awkward situation is crucial to the character’s humor. Probably because his natural identity is always subjected to such problems. Here, Spider-Man’s powers have just faltered, and he’s forced to take an elevator after falling onto a rooftop.

Following an uncomfortable silence with someone else in the elevator, Spider-Man is actually allowed to be Peter Parker, despite wearing the iconic suit. Peter drops the heroic persona and is hilariously frank about the discomfort of his tight outfit.

1 Captain America: Civil War: “...You Ever See That Really Old Movie?”

This long-winded quip was probably difficult to swallow for older MCU fans. But Spider-Man has never been more youthful than Tom Holland’s incarnation, and this was a perfect way to illustrate the MCU’s new approach to the character.

Spider-Man references Star Wars’ thrilling battle on the icy planet Hoth, in relation to tying up Ant-Man’s legs during the climactic superhero showdown. The joke was fitting enough, and memorable enough, to show up again for the Aliens reference in Infinity War. Millennials be warned—at this rate, Spider-Man will next call out a 90’s movie for its age.

NEXT: MCU: Spider-Man's 10 Biggest Mistakes (That We Can Learn From)

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Anthony Fertino (148 Articles Published)

I am an author, screenwriter, gamer, and certified CAD Technician residing in Southern California.

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Random Funniest Spider-Man Quips in Comicsreport

About Random Funniest Spider-Man Quips in Comics

It's an exciting tool for displaying random funniest spider-man quips in comics. We collected a list of "Random Funniest Spider-Man Quips in Comics" from ranker, which was screened by countless online votes. You can view random funniest spider-man quips in comics shows from this page, click on "Show all by ranking" button to show the complete list, or visit the original page for a more detailed introduction.

When Spider-Man first swung onto the comic book scene in 1962, he stood out not only because of his everyman sensibilities, and oddly piebald hair, but also because of his lightning fast sense of humor. We, the modern comic book audience, expect our super heroes to have a razor sharp wit, and a back pocket full of jokes to be had at their antagonist’s expense, but all of that started with your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Think about it, if Spider-Man had never parkoured into our lives (or if he’d been a more reserved hero) Marvel movies wouldn’t be half as fun as they are, and we’d be stuck with summer blockbusters revolving around more grunts than puns. Put on your Spider-Man pajamas, hang upside down, and celebrate everyone’s favorite web head with our list of his best comebacks, jokes, and one-liners.

Spider-Man has been through an abundance of changes in the last six decades. He’s been a college student, a clone, he sold his soul, and he was Doc Ock for a little while. But throughout his myriad character beats, and lifestyle choices, he’s always been funny – maybe that’s why we identify with him so much. He’s never been the toughest hero, or the character with the coolest powers, but he’s always been the funniest, and that’s why we love him.

Vote up your favorite Spider-Man one liners and mid fight jokes, and if we left off your favorite web slinging one-liner then tell us about it in the comments.
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Spider-Man PS4 Funny Jokes , Lines \u0026 Quotes #1

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